How do you seriously forget the people you care about? It’s been a couple of days and slowly but surely I know that deep down in my heart, the people i love and care about are gone. They’ve slowly slipped away and it’s been instense lately, because i know deep down in my heart, they’re the ones who always picked me up even when we had problems. I never knew that your own heart can damage so easily even when your not in love with someone. Trust me, I’m a witness I know things changed, but there was a pact that I’ve made for myself, even when i thought negative. That no matter what life, throws at us, I would try and fix the conflicts. Because, even when things go terribly wrong between all of us, there’s not one day i can’t stop thinking about them. But, i can never forget how they looked into my eyes and told me that it’s all my fault that day, now i just seem to cry and all the pain i feel inside of my heart i try to replace, but i really can’t do it. I wish it was easier said then done. They’re gone, he’s gone. And i just always seem to blame myself now. I wish I’ve done better when i could have, since that day, I’ve been trying to find the words to say “I’m sorry” but, how can i? When i can’t stop remicising about the looks on their faces, as if i was a disgrace to them, like they never wanted me to come back to them anymore. That this is it. Usually when arguements happen, that never stopped us from carrying about eachother. The words that they threw at me though when they said “it’s all your fucking fault.” Now all i ever do is blame myself. Not her, not him, not them, but myself. Now I’m sitting all alone, once again in the dark. Sure i have best friends that are always gonna be there. But, i had a family who made me whole, whenever i thought my world was going to fall apart, there the ones who helped me stand up, they made sure I’ll never be alone again. I’m going to put my pride down, no I’m not fine because I’ve lost them. It may seem like I’m doing great in my pictures on instagram, but that’s only on camera. Ive made a promise to a friend, cousin, sister that when you come back, things will still be the same. But, I’ve failed, and i guess that’s what I’m meant to do at life. So why try again? When, it’s all going to fall all over again, and everything is going to end up like deja vu, same shit different day. Same story, just different time. I probably don’t make sense when I explain things, but it all makes sense in my heart and mind.
Blame it on Tequila on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/27481023
